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Anyone that knows me is aware of my unhealthy obsession with Game of Thrones, both the books and the shows. I am in awe of George R.R. Martin’s ability to develop characters with such duality and depth, that learn and grow throughout the series, some in positive ways, others not so much. At any point in the books we view each character as a hero, the next as a villain, then back to hero status.

One of my favorite characters in the series is Arya, driven initially by anger and revenge, she is unrelenting in her pursuit of justice for the Stark family. In stark contrast to her sister Sansa (pun intended) who is laser focused on becoming a lady and queen, Arya knows at a young age she must follow a different path. Even when her father speaks of her one day marrying a high lord and ruling his castle her response is “that’s not me”. For a little girl to shun societal norms and know her true identity is so rare yet so beautiful. In a society where media tells us how we should look, what we should eat, who and when we should marry, and at what age we should pack it all in, anyone that lives their truth, even a fictional character from a different era, proves so refreshing.

Identifying your purpose in life and actually living it is so rare. Filtering out all the chatter from media and becoming the person you were meant to be, the person that was put on this earth to contribute something amazing is a task in itself. Not to mention, it will require work, unpleasant work that will isolate you and make you question if this is really the path you are destined to follow. Manifesting your gifts can be a lonely voyage however the other option is to continue to live in a fog of mediocrity.

You were put here for a very distinct reason, one unique to you and only you and not to abide by the expectations of others. My very favorite scene in Game of Thrones is when Nymeria, Arya’s dire wolf appropriately named after a warrior queen, protects her from being mauled by the other members of her pack during a chance encounter on the way to Winterfell. Once Arya realizes it is Nymeria, her once dutiful pet that has rescued her, she invites her to return home with her. Nymeria’s response is to turn away and lead her pack back into the woods with Arya whispering to herself “that’s not you.” She understands that Nymeria has found her way, her place, her pack, and is no longer the pup that helped her pack for King’s Landing.

Who am I is a question we all need to answer and it cannot be found in some book or online, it is buried in the depths of your soul waiting to reveal itself.